Why?

As I should be studying for a psychology test right now, I figured that I would somehow include some of it in tonight's writing, no matter how inane. (I also purposefully decided to include it because it would have shown up one way or the other, and I'd rather feel like I have some sort of control over what happens to be written.)

Nothing really profound to say tonight, but I did want to say one thing. Having said one thing, and then written some more words, my attention span regarding the writing of what I'm thinking to the world at large (when the world at large is largely oblivious to the fact and largely doesn't care) has severely waned. Oh, and here's the psychology bit: people who avoid others and don't enjoy being a part of a group are not antisocial. Antisocial people are those who have a habit of disregarding the basic rights of others. These would be almost everyone in the prison population. It is a little bit like a milder version of narcissism, in that the person feels that what they want is more important than what others want or what others need (a lack of empathy [to copy from my psych study guide]). Where it differs from real narcissism is that narcissistic people also feel an excessive need for admiration and most often have delusions of grandeur, which is a fun thing to say, but not so much to experience in someone else. And in case you were for some really weird reason curious about them, they are both a subtype of Cluster B Personality Disorders, which are categorized as dramatic, erratic, and emotional. They are also lifelong disorders, which means they fall into Axis II of the Multiaxial Assessment test.

On a completely unrelated note, the coffee* in the library tonight is nothing to write home about. Unless, of course, whoever you are writing to at home cares about how horrible the coffee is, or you feel the compulsion to write about how bad the coffee is. In that case, it would be something to write home about. But for the majority of people, at least those who don't write about things that aren't so great because they know that the person they are writing home to doesn't care and it makes the letter so much longer which means that you would have to get a second sheet of paper and write on that too, but then you really don't have enough to write on the second paper of the letter, so it looks like you only have two lines on it because you didn't want to cram it all onto the one paper, and then they think that you didn't really write very much because there's only the two lines on the second paper, even though really you wrote more to them than they would have gotten anyway, because for some reason you were writing home about the less than mediocre coffee in the library, but since they don't care about the less than mediocre coffee, all they see is the fact that there are only two lines of writing on the second paper, so most of it is blank space, and they think about how much more you could have written, and if you really loved them you would write more about what you were doing and how your life was and important things like that instead of just inane drivel about the almost-but-not-quite-entirely-unlike-coffee drink that is sitting in the library, and now they're not so sure that they even miss you quite as much as they thought they did before they got your halfhearted letter (as they see it, because of all the blank space after the two lines about the coffee), and now they're not quite so sure they actually want to come visit you at Christmas after all, since you don't care about them (or miss them, apparently) enough to write more than just the two lines about coffee on the second paper even though there is so much extra space to write in and it's not very likely that your pen is really going to run out of ink while you're writing that one extra little page that you already wrote two lines on about the stupid coffee, which they don't even want to hear about even a little bit, and after all when they wrote you last time, they used up three whole pages, front and back, and didn't just write two lines on a piece of paper, even though their writing really was a little bit on the big size, come to think of it, and probably contained less actual writing than the letter you wrote, even with the useless bit about the coffee which didn't need to be written at all, but you wrote it anyway, just because for some weird reason you wanted to write home about the coffee, and now since they feel you don't care about them, as previously stated, they won't even be coming to visit you, and now that they think about it, they won't even send any presents to someone like you who is so obviously ungrateful that you only wrote two lines about coffee instead of anything meaningful, and after more consideration, they don't even want to see you any more so you're on your own with no support from home at all. If you had listened to my advice, you would not be having this problem. It's your own fault. Ingrate.


*Seriously, though, the coffee sucks tonight.